Canned Meat Unicorn Plush

Yep! It's as weird as you think. This little gem from the fine fellows at ThinkGeek is the geek answer to SPAM, although SPAM may also be the geek answer to SPAM... er, nevermind.

Here are the deets, as my wife would say:

  • 14 ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience
  • Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland
  • Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can.

Take home these 14-ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland. Crunchy horn bits in every bite- an excellent source of Calcium. Tastes like rotisserie chicken but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness. Easily spreadable for sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, and more. Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties! Unlike other meats, unicorn fat is polyunsaturated and lowers your LDL cholesterol. Not yet approved by the USDA or FDA, but the nuns have eaten it for centuries and they're healthy as horses. Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can. The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside. No can opener needed!

Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

So.. there you have it, well go here, and you can have it.

Star Wars Yoda Talking USB Desk Protector

Star Wars Yoda Talking USB Desk Protector

Star Wars Yoda Talking USB Desk Protector

Let Jedi Master Yoda protect your computer from the Dark Side.

As soon as Yoda detects motion, his lightsaber will illuminate and he will say 1 of 6 phrases. Position Yoda facing the area you wish him to guard and he will detect motion from 6 to 9-feet away, depending on the light in the room!

Yoda is 6 1/2 inches tall. Phrases include: "In the end, cowards are those who follow the dark side.", "A disturbance in the Force, there is.", "Retreat! Cover you, I will!", "Still much to learn, you have.", "So certain of defeat, are you? Hmmm…", "Rush not into fight. Long is the war." and "Only by surviving it, will you prevail."

Yoda Talking USB Desk Protector - "Want, you do."

“She’s got it where it counts, kid.”

Star Wars Millennium Falcon Vehicle

Star Wars Millennium Falcon Vehicle

Growing up I loved Star Wars. What am I saying, I still love Star Wars (Jar Jar Binks - not so much). When I was a kid, my cousin had a ton of Star Wars stuff and I always wanted the Millennium Falcon. I can't for the life of me remember what I traded my cousin, but I swapped him something for an original Millennium Falcon.

Fast forward about 10 years and while I was college, my mom decided to clean out the basement. Unfortunately she did not understand how valuable that Millennium Falcon was. She gave it to Goodwill. Yep. She gave it away. *sigh*

Well, now I can once again own the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. You can own one too for around $200. Maybe I can even get my mom to buy it for me. Um. probably not.

Futurama Nibbler Plush

Futurama Nibbler Plush

Entertainment Earth

I love Futurama, I love it with a passion my wife will never understand. I remember the frustration of tuning into FOX to catch an episode on Sunday nights at 7:30, just to be disappointed because it had been preempted by, well, almost anything.

I felt fortunate when I was able to actually see it and completely let down when FOX canceled it.

Thankfully I can watch the hell out of it now on Comedy Central and that makes me happy, almost as happy as cuddling up to an adorable Nibloean that poops dark matter - aka spaceship fuel. Now you can get your own 11" Nibbler plush.

Disclaimer: The links in this post are links to Geek Fun's affiliate account.

Robot Starter Bundles

VEX Robotics Starter Bundle

Photo: VEXRobotics.com

I've always loved robots, and I've dreamed of designing and building my own ever since watching R2-D2 and C3PO in the original Star Wars - the first time it came out (although now I'd make my C3PO a little less light in the loafers - can a robot be gay?)

I also derived way too much pleasure from watching BattleBots. The idea of two robots battling to their electronic death was really exciting to me. Although, I have to admit, I had wished that the robots were actually programmed to seek and destroy each other, instead of being remote controlled machines of death. But that's the geek in me. That reminds me - does anyone remember the Robot Football league in the Jetsons? Watch the entire episode - The Jetsons: Jetsons' Night Out

But I digress, time continues to slip away and I haven't gotten any where in my robot attempts. I've decide to not reinvent the wheel so to spoke and will be turning to the VEX system to realize my childhood dream. I'll post updates and reviews and discuss what I learn, the good and the bad.

I hope you'll enjoy these posts and I welcome comments and feedback. VEX Robotics